The Harbinger Cometh

Welcome to the first issue of the official Wasabinuki newsletter!  We will provide our readers with information on upcoming Wasabinuki events, stories about past adventures, and the latest lowdown on the Wasabinuki crew!

Issues will be published on an erratic yet whimsically irregular near-monthly basis.  That is a poetic way of saying I would like to kick one out every month, but I can't promise anything.  So kick back with a cold brew and enjoy.

Stone Drunk Bus
Continuing a three-year tradition, the Wasabinuki crew invaded Stone Brewery's 9^th Anniversary Celebration. We rented a yellow school bus, the very same bus & driver that carried us on Robbie Lobo's bachelor party a few months prior, loaded it up with an ice-cold keg, and headed down into battle.

The trip down was half the fun, of course, as Bus Driver Jeff let us pretty much have our way.  There was plenty of chanting and singing, and lots and lots of drinking.  The keg was killed on the ninety minute ride to Escondido, which is no small task.

With more than fifty beer-buzzed barbarians on board, the crew certainly made themselves known once we finally arrived at our destination.  At this point we split up and conquered the event in style.

The event was very well put together this year, with two sessions ensuring everyone got a short line to some damned tasty beer.  Russian River reigned supreme once again over all, but everyone walked away with a favorite in mind.  Whether anything stayed in mind is another issue entirely. Some crew members even remembered to get their Stone Brew Merchandise.  The trip back was much more subdued, most people either making out or passing out.  The random outbursts continued until the Wasabi-Warriors finally returned home.

Special thanks to American Transportation and Bus Driver Jeff, for giving us a second chance!  Thanks to everyone who forked out the healthy $50 to make it happen!  I think everyone agrees it was worth it!

[For more pics and info on the event, visit www.stonebrew.com]

Cava's Chicken & Grits
What's in a name?  Anthony Cava proves once again that a party by any name smells as sweet.  The Cava household was the epicenter for the second annual Chicken & Grits quake that shook LA out of its sponge- bob pajamas earlier this month.  No trimming was spared with the dirty-dancing disco den, the game room (which was blessedly unoccupied,) and the dubiously crowded "backyard."

Neighbor children ran into their parent's arms as the English-Filipino karaoke lounge battled with Big Rig's beer brigade on the outside long-table for control of the sound waves.  No clear winner emerged, yet the damage was complete.

Let's talk about food, something this reviewer knows something about.  The carne & pollo asada came in vast amounts, along with pasta, pizza, and even salad.  Everyone who managed to make their way in to the darkened feast hall left greasy and happy.

Finally, with the wall of alcohol that threatened to brick in the kitchen like an Edgar Allen Poe poem, my faith in the Wasabinuki party-goer, and thus Humanity, is restored.  Everyone seemed to bring something to drink, and plenty of it.  I would like to say 'Good Show' to everyone who contributed!

As house-parties go, this was the most fun I have had all year (and it had nothing to do with me not having to clean up.)  So, from the veteran Wasabinuki crew to the first-time party cubs, we say 'Cheers' and thanks to Cava and his parents (willing or otherwise) for hosting us...grits or no grits.

Drunken Olympics III
This remains the Wasabinuki party of the year, with the entire crew and their friends competing for the coveted Golden Toilet Seat.  This year's Olympics will be remembered as "The Year Everyone Threw Up."  The events were primarily the same as previous years, the main addition being the relay.  Everyone came in style and competed like their life depended on it...and for some of us, it did.

Opening Ceremonies went smoothly as Banana-man B2 split the D.O. banner then tapped the keg like a Rapper on a groupie.  The official events followed in order with B1 and the Referee's running around keeping the good times good.

A new element was added this year, the Quadatheletes (Q.A.).  Two competitors were chosen to compete in all four events.  These amazing examples of evolution were the mighty Travis and Gump.

The events went as follows:

Asses of Fire:

Eat a habañero pepper then do a shot of tequila, last man standing wins.  This was a great starter event as everyone was still sober enough to realize this is a bad idea.  St. Auggie breathed fire on the competition and won first place, Jason "Mad Max" Maxwell scorched the Second Place spot, and the bronze was burned by Q.A. Travis.  Honorable Mention goes to Ricardo who tapped out after only one round and gave us the inaugural puke.

The Greatest Relay Ever

This was the newest, most complicated, and by far the most gut-wrenching event.  Four teams visit four challenge-tables, competing two teams at a time.  Each team member has to do the challenge and the anchor gets a special challenge.  The winning teams of Heat 1 compete against each other in Heat 2 to claim the prize.

The challenge-tables were: 1) Pound a half-cup of beer with the anchor pounding a full cup.  2) A mystery shot with the anchor doing two shots.  3) Shotgun a 12oz beer while the anchor shotguns a 25oz Fosters.  4) Body shots and the anchor had to do a double-shot.

This was painful to play and to watch.  I felt for the winners as they had to do it all over again in Heat 2.  I have never seen such willpower in my life, as competitors repeatedly emptied their stomach contents and continued to drink without so much as a wince.  Some were literally crawling to get to the next table.  Inspirational doesn't even come close.

The winning teams were:

First Place: St. Auggie, Christina, Q.A. Gump, Missy

Second Place: Dee, Michelle, PV, Q.A. Travis

Third Place:  Janie, Jonathan, LA Michelle, Omar

Honorable Mention: Brooke, Daniela, John Petit, Randy

Tricycles of Bewilderment

Pound a beer, then ride a kiddie tricycle eight laps around a figure-eight track, pounding a beer after every lap. 

This is a favorite for the fans of the Drunken Olympics.  Every year the neighbors materialize to watch the pseudo-innocent display, and this year was no exception.  Across the street was a 9-year-old birthday party and the entire assembly was lined up on the grass and on lawn chairs for over an hour to watch.    My curse on the man that says we are not a responsible influence on the next generation.

Returning champion Damin captured the gold for the second year, followed by Krystal with the silver, and Michelle took home the bronze.

Immediately following the main event was a special drag race for the Quadatheletes.  They had to ride tiny wheeled toys backward and forward, pounding a beer each time until Gump was declared the winner.  He took a victory lap, then pissed himself in front of everyone.  Hey, it's all for the kids.

The Century Club

This, without exception, is the main event of the Drunken Olympics.  The competition is one shot of beer every minute for one hundred minutes.  That is eight and half beers in an hour and forty minutes.  If that sounds easy, talk to some of the non-members; you can find them still laying face down in the beer tent.  What makes this even more challenging is that it is the last event of the day.  Most of the competitors were drinking and/or competing for hours before it even began.   

This year the stakes were much higher as the rules were upped to make The Club a little more exclusive.  The new rules were simple: 1) No getting up for any reason.  One Piss-Pass was allowed at a time. 2) No puking.  3) No tomfoolery.  This last rule caused much controversy and dramatic tears.  To this I say if Big Rig and Jaime can play nice and not complain, everyone else can direct their comments to a nearby brick wall.

With that in mind, the event was another memorable one.  Q.A. Travis decided he was man enough to drink Guinness over the event standard...he wasn't.  Dee-Lishus got rowdy, but showed her "Get Out Of Jail Free Cards" to stay in the game.  Missy and Dee were both finally ejected after table-top wrestling and destroying the ambrosial sandwich.  Guillermo made it all the way to 98 before throwing a piece of disqualifying trash, then defiantly quaffed the remaining 2 shots.  Jonathan Reagan finished the event, but was stripped of his membership once his secret puking was uncovered.  During the awards ceremony, the entire assemblage fell backwards off of the podium.

The new Centurions for 2005 are B2, Big Rig, Brandon, Chris Leinbach, J-Pop, Jaime, PV, Dr. Jeff Reagan, Randy, and Sergio.

Special Recognition

MVP: Quadathelete Gump.  Best Dressed: B2

Olympic acknowledgment and indebtedness goes out to the people that made this red-letter affair possible. Event Coordinators B1, Cava, J-Pop, and U-Turn.  Venue Hosts Mr. and Mrs. Dunn.  Referees Christina, Tara, Yumi, and U-Turn.  The brave Beer Pourers Michelle, Kristin, and the refs. Lastly, to all of the competitors that threw their dignity to the wind...Olympiads, we salute you!

Achtüng! Oktoberfest!
We are not in Munchen this year, but we can damn well drink like we are.  Oktoberfest is celebrated around the world, and two of the best celebrations are right here in Southern California. 

Alpine Village - Saturday, Oct. 1^st

Alpine Village opens its gates from September 10^th through October 30^th.  They have been celebrating for 34 years, isn't it time you introduced yourself?  Tickets are FREE if you print out a coupon online. 

Big Bear Lake - Saturday, Oct. 8^th

Big Bear Lake is also running its 35^th annual Oktoberfest celebration, and we are in there as well.    Tickets are $10, or you can get the $25 internet-only special, the "Burgermeister Party Pack." This includes admission, an Oktoberfest beer stein, a complete German meal, a German beer of your choice, and a set of Oktoberfest party beads!

Car pools are forming for both of these events, so let us know if you can drive or need a ride!

The 7th Anniversary Halloween Costume Party
The Halloween Costume Party is certainly Wasabinuki's longest running shindig.  It was that night so long ago that the original forces first united and came to the realization, "We party well together."  Saturday Night, October 29^th marks the seventh anniversary celebration of our favorite holiday.  It is a costume-only party, so start getting your rags together now!

For those that have attended in the past, you know can expect nothing less than a preternaturally good time.  There will the traditional costume contest, plus whatever perilous games B1 can concoct.  You don't want to miss it!  Keep an eye on the website and the Forums for freshly drawn information.

E-mail U-Turn (uturn@wasabinuki.com) or B1 (b1@wasabinuki.com) for info. on this event.

Website Wonderment

New Forums

You have already been to the website, make sure you visit the Wasabinuki Forums and make your opinion's known!  Here is where you be able to commune with all of your fellow partiers on all things Wasabinuki.  You will be privy to the absolute latest details on coming events and of course be able to rant about bashes gone by.

New Pictures and Videos

Make sure to check back often to sit amazed at the Pic of the Week.  Witness new genius from The Brain of Brandon.  Download and watch video clips from all Wasabinuki happenings.  See special moments from the Drunken Olympics or even watch the trailer!  Captivate yourself with Big Rig's video creations.  I guarantee they don't play this stuff on MTV2.

September Birthdays

Wasabinuki wishes a Happy Birthday to Amber, Jaime, Mike D., and Penelope!

"I drank to your health in my office, I drank to your health in my home.  I've drank to your health so damned many times, I've almost ruined my own." 

(If you have an October birthday, or know someone who does, please email it to uturn)

So Sayeth the Harbinger

Thanks for joining me on the wedding night issue of The Harbinger!  Send any suggestions or praise via email to U-Turn at uturn@wasabinuki.com, or visit me in the Forums www.wasabinuki.com/forum. 

Peace and Aloha,

U-Turn.